I don’t even know what to name this post. But after feeling a rush of jealousy at the sight of my FB and his “girl”, I asked myself why?
First of all, let me clarify this man is probably the exact opposite of what I consider “my type” (even though I don’t really think I have one). He’s not that great looking either; cute at best, and we have very little in common, if anything. When I met him, the only reason I noticed him was because he tended to gravitate towards me. Then I found out he was a professional MMA fighter and my interest really started to peak. As that happened, his interest in me had also started to peak as well. I made it my mission to get him, so I added him on Facebook and we started flirting. Eventually, I played my cards right enough to get him to admit that he was indeed attracted to me. After a lot of back and forths we eventually agreed to have a little affair.
He told me he wasn’t interested in a relationship, because he already had a “thing” with a girl in Florida (which is true); I didn’t really care because I never wanted him as anything more than a hookup. I told him it was fine, because I was only looking to have fun. So we started getting together and boy is it explosive! And our hookups have made us become closer as friends too.
What’s funny though, is that I get a wave of jealousy whenever I see him with his girl. I don’t know if it truly is jealousy or of it is just a blow to my ego to see him actually want to spend time with someone else, but not me. What am I not GOOD enough for this dude? If so, who does he think he is? He would rather have a non-thing with someone who lives thousands of miles away, but not me. It hurts! But why? Is it because I have feelings for him? Because I want him for myself? Nope. It’s because I want him to want to be with me. Not because I want him as a boyfriend or care about him in the least. Nope. It is because of my ego. In fact, I would probably become disinterested in him, the moment he showed real interest in me. Is that normal? No. It’s messed up. It’s a sick thing, really.
It’s finally happened. I’ve finally taken a relaxed enough approach to sex. Enough to randomly sleep with the fighter I was into a few months ago. I have to say it’s different. It’s a lot emptier but a lot more liberating. A little disappointing though. I thought it’d feel a lot more exciting than it does. Maybe the lack of true feelings for him affect the experience. Who knows?
I mean last night was supposed to be great. This guy I’m into (who is a professional MMA fighter) was supposed to win his fight and we were supposed to hang out at the after party and celebrate and flirt and talk and just fall in love. I mean there was no reason for this not to happen. But NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Instead he had to be the only one of like 22 fighters to get injured, which means he couldn’t go to the after party and went home instead, which means the Expectations vs. Reality scene in 500 Days of Summer is my fucking life.
I should start blogging about all the things that should go my way but simply don’t LOL. I wonder what will happen next time…
I went on a date last night, and now I’m sitting around my apartment like “OMG THAT DATE WAS GREAT HE WAS SO GREAT I HOPE HE LIKES ME AS MUCH AS I LIKE HIM I HOPE HE CALLS ME SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE ANXIETY ANXIETY WHAT IF HE DOESN’T CALL OH NOES” and frankly, I never thought I’d be TWENTY-FUCKING-EIGHT and still having to go through this crap.
Oh I got a full on axiety attack while I was seeing this guy, because I liked him so much and I thought he was exactly what I was looking for all along, and I was terrified to lose that feeling and have my heart broken, again.
Seriously. What is wrong with me? I simply cannot get a man. Not one, not even the ones who may like me. I don’t get it. I think I need to move or something, because this situation is extremely pathetic. The ones that are good for me move to the other side of the country, the ones I don’t care about are the ones who pursue me no matter what. Will there be a point where luck will finally come to me and bring me someone that is perfect for me?
I’m starting to lose patience. It doesn’t help that every single friend of mine seems to either be married or getting married or having children, children they actually planned. When will it be my turn? WHEN?
I know she doesn’t actually appear until Mockingjay, but there’s several scenes where she’s mentioned. I can’t wait two more years to see Annie! THEY BETTER FUCKING INCLUDE HER IN MOCKINGJAY, OR I’LL BURN THOSE BITCHES DOWN.
Why are people having so much trouble understanding this? It’s not that hard. Annie doesn’t properly appear in Catching Fire, at least not long enough for them to actually hire a somewhat known actress that will require a relatively high paycheck. It’s easier to cast a random child who will show up only once. I’m sure Annie will be a very hyped up casting for Mockingjay. It simply doesn’t make sense to find her now.
Boys who are not objectively hot enough to play the movie versions of described-as-unbelievably-attractive book characters:
I’m sorry, but this is Jace Wayland??? No. I disagree.
Let’s be honest. We all had our own preferences for Finnick, and no one thought it would be him.
To end this post on a positive note, I leave you with a picture of the guy who really should have been chosen to play Finnick:
Sigh. So pretty.
Yet, no acting skills. No thanks. I’d rather see anyone as Finnick but Chace Crawford.
Have you ever met people who took you completely by surprise? Like you went out expecting something completely different and then, there they are. Seemingly unremarkable people, who turn your life upside down in less than an hour.
He seemed to be exactly what I was looking for, almost everything I wanted. I thought to myself “this is going to be good, there’s potential for something amazing here.” I let the walls down, opened myself up and threw myself into the whirlwind of emotions. Emotions I hadn’t felt in years. I said “Why shouldn’t I? There’s a reason why this is happening right now.” I was the happiest I had been in the longest time. Then the blow came. He had to move to the other side of the country…in less than two months.
How? Why? What was the point? Why was this man in the right place at the right time? I was devastated. Why was I given such little time? Why was I so unlucky? Is this how it will always be?
Yes, eventually he left, he got himself a nice girl; and I was left here to wallow and cry over my horrible luck. Today its been a year, and although those feelings have long disappeared, I still remember that man that turned my world upside down for what felt like 5 minutes. Who I knew little, but who did so much. I still get sad when I remember that feeling, I miss it. I still remember our amazing first date, even more amazing second date and unbelievable third date. I still remember him trying to detach himself and me trying to stay away from him because… what was the point?
I can only hope our paths cross again one day. I hope we get the chance to really get to know each other even more than we did before, the chance to love each other, the chance to be with each other. Maybe that was the point? Who knows…
OH GOD SERIOUSLY. What exactly did they give you to believe in?!?! They are a couple like any other couple in the world for goodness sake!!! You don’t know them, you’ve never hung out with them on a personal basis, you don’t know what kind of couple they really were, whether they had issues, whether she’s a psycho jealous person, whether he’s boring as a boyfriend or not, NOTHING. You don’t know anything about them AT ALL. They’ve only been together for 4 years, sorry to disappoint you people but… that’s not much at all! Also, she cheated on him! They broke up! COUPLES BREAK UP, IT’S LIFE. Maybe she wasn’t that happy in that relationship anyway and wanted to have some adventure or fun in her life, WHO KNOWS?
I’d understand this silly devotion if they had been married for years and years and you knew them personally, but seriously people, you are straight up certifiable. You only care for them because they also happen to be a couple in your favorite movie. If they hadn’t been in the movie and they had gotten together you wouldn’t give two fucks about them.
GET OVER YOURSELVES.